Wednesday, May 05, 2004

+ 15 minutes on the excercise contraption.
+ "sunbathing" for an hour outside my mothers office.
+ walking around like a hyperactive 11 year old not knowing where to go whenever something is intensely bothering me.

i guess i'm weird that way, whenever i'm bothered, or nervous, or scared, or pissed, or depressed, i don't just roll up in a corner and die, i go on walking wherever my legs will take me.

i just can't take being in just one place and staying there.

i have to walk. i have to get away. i get restless and just decide go where my legs can take me even if i don't know where it is, even if it's 9pm in the evening with dogs barking at me.

which scares me, because when that happens, i don't really think strait, i don't think about what can happen to me, my senses aren't on and i have no idea what's happening around me. all i'm thinking is that i have to get away. i have to get away. i have to get away.

this ought to do some changes in my fat body.
when i'm thinner, everything will be different.

then maybe i wouldn't be forgotten anymore.

smile, sanya, smile.

[[sanya whored herself to the world at 11:47 AM]]